My Friend, Dave Nelson, from Newsradio Came Over Again Today...Like He Does Every Day

Dear Mama,

Do you ever feel like you watch so much of a tv show that you know the characters as well as the other people in your life? And you wonder what their up to when you don't see them because you are so used to them? That is what it's like here every day because we just watch Newsradio all the time. Hey picture lady, ever hear of a thing called variety? Didn't think so. So anyhow, today, Matthew tripped on something again, and Lisa and Dave got in a fight again, and Joe fixed something with homemade duct tape again and Bill said something crazy on the air again and Mr. James has a new scheme with his billionaire friends again and Beth is still chewing the same piece of gum she started with in the pilot. Geez I miss Katherine.

On another topic, Leah is creeping me out. She is stalking me. She slowly comes up behind me and touches me on the back or the hair. She doesn't want to grab me or talk to me, just rest her hand there. And I see she wrote Mrs. Leah Righter on all her notebooks. She only wants to play with my toys and she is just plain odd. I'm thinking about getting a restraining order. I know it's hard not to worship me but she needs a little self discipline. I think it's because she is descended from the picture lady and those genes are slightly mutated.

Love,

H

Who Loves Baby Unabridged Volume II: Faunties and Funcles

I must be tortured for extra day this week so as promised, here is more of who loves me.

Fauntie Liz

Fuantie Liz is my favorite. She just lavishes me with love and food whenever she is near. I don't know why all faunties can't be like her. I wish she babysat me all the time instead of the picture lady. She loves me all the H heads in the world. Including the ones you love me with.

Fauntie Ali

My personal photographer. Fauntie Ali is there to document all of my awesomeness. It's hard to find a better # 1 fan. Go ahead try it. She will beat you. She will win. And if she doesn't, she will harm you. She loves me 8 H heads at least.

Funcle Dave

Good times to be had with Funcle Dave. He puts me in baskets sometimes. He lets me eat his cheese even if he doesn't know it. I always like it much more when he comes home and helps the picture lady. He doesn't do nearly often enough. He loves me about 4 H heads. He is kind of partial to Leah.

Funcle Scott

I don't get to see him much but from what I gather, he is good at games. He is quiet so when I was a baby I really liked to be around him. I like him now too. Sometimes I think he could teach the rest of them about how to properly take your turn in a conversation. It's a conversation people, not a shouting match. He loves me 2 H heads more than he loves Beans.

The Golden Girls

They buy me toys and clothes. They get to step in as my surrogate grandmas on the East Coast since my real ones are across the country. I still love my real grandmas millions of H heads but these ladies are always good for some entertainment. They play a lot of cards. They are also partial to Leah but they evenly distribute their H heads of love so I never feel left out.

The Entire Congregation of the Cary 2nd Ward

Lets face it, how could you not love me. I rock. They love me a minimum of 3 H heads per member.

The picture lady says she loves me but I know it is a lie because if she did she would take better care of me so she will be left out of this post.

Hyrum for President of Leah

In this picture, creepy Leah is trying to touch me.

I would like to state my position on the issues....

I am PRO Leah not being able to touch the piano and the incrediblock.

I am AGAINST unfair mandatory napping. Especially when dogs are inside the house.

I am AGAINST leaving me trapped on the fireplace ledge to fend for myself. People who are in charge of my care should take responsibility.

I am AGAINST Creepy Leah and her sneaky, wierd touching. She isn't going to be allowed to do that when she's older so we might as well start her learning now. After all, her learning curve is a tad bit bigger than most.

I am PRO calling the picture lady Bob. I don't know why I started doing it. It just seemed to fit.

I am PRO being allowed to go behind the coffee table and play with the computer. I am efficent and proficient. Today alone I managed to log off, delete the internet shortcut and open many files.

I am AGAINST centralized health care. Everything our government touches gets worse. There are better ways.

So vote for me, H, for president of Leah. So I can boss her around and make her stay away from my toys for good. I don't want to have to throw blocks at her but it's for her own good.

My Stuff

Dear Mama,

Now that Leah is older she keeps trying to take my toys. I have to protect them. Today I climbed on top of the incrediblock and blocked her completely. I consider it a very successful day. One little snag though, I like to climb on the fire place but I can't quite get down. I'm trapped up there like baby prison. Sometimes the picture lady just watches me and taunts me but won't help me down for awhile.

Love,

H