boring...boring...boring...boring

Dear Mama,

The picture lady spent all day doing lame stuff like laundry and packing Leah's diaper bag so she could be ready to go back to work tomorrow. Here are some pictures of Leah and me looking really bored. Leah hates boredom. She says she needs others to stimulate her mind all day. Me, I just take in the environment around me and have fun by myself. Today I scooted all the way over to the fireplace and then to the window by the dining room.







Love,

H

Still no penguin bowling but it's my own fault.

Dear Mama,

It's because I refuse to abide by the bowling rules as set forth by the PBA (Professional Bowlers Association). The picture lady is a real stickler for rules it turns out. At least I'm not like Leah. All she wanted to do was stare at the penguins and knock them over with her mind. I just wanted to put them in my mouth. The picture lady says that telekinetics are illegal and she accused me of trying to saturate one side of the penguin with saliva to weigh it down and make it fall over easier. She's a little crazy. Frankly I'm a little surprised you leave me with her. It doesn't much matter since all I really want to do is spin the wheel on the elliptical and roll the toy bin back and forth. All that other stuff is for babies and I am a man now. I had my first unfiltered burrito yesterday and I think I'll start looking for jobs tomorrow.

Anyhow, what we did do today was go back to Chipotle again. The picture lady wanted her free shirt. She did not get it. But Candace gave me a new bib. Here are some pictures from today.

I played with Paul. She rolled on her stomach so I felt obligated to put a block on it and giggle.


This is my best friend Leah. We secretly plot to never take a nap at the same time.




These are my favorite toys, the elliptical wheel and the toy bin.




Here's my awesome onsie for Chipotle. It says, "FOOD HASN'T BEEN THIS FUN SINCE YOU USED TO RUB IT AROUND IN YOUR HAIR". On my bum it says, "GUIDED TOURS DEPARTING EVERY 12 SECONDS". Candace loved it. I think she wants to marry me.




Check out my new bib. A gift from Candace of course. How much does a Chipotle manager make? If I marry her, I need to make sure she can afford to buy me lots of rice cereal.


Well it's off to a nap. See ya on the five spot.

Love,

H

Today is NOT Penguin Bowling Day.

Dear Mama,

Today was supposed to be penguin bowling day. It didn't work out so well. You can see that we had a pretty great setup. The picture lady has an awesome penguin bowling hallway.




What today did turn out to be was grumpy tired baby day. Here I am asleep. Those penguins tried to wake me up to bowl but I wasn't having any part of it.


Leah also tried to sleep through it but those darn penguins wouldn't shut up. She said they kept her awake all afternoon.



The picture lady got mad and told the penguins that if she had to rock Leah all afternoon because they wouldn't let her sleep and she wouldn't stop crying that they had to do her work for her. I don't want to get on the wrong side of her. I don't know anything about spreadsheets.


Hopefully, we can do penguin bowling on Tuesday. After a relaxing weekend.

Love,

H

Today is Mustache Day

Dear Mama,

Today the picture lady made everyone wear a mustache. Here is what it looked like.

I think I look quite hansome, don't you?




Leah is an angry villain.

Here is the picture lady. She's a little wierd.




Jack Jack, Murphy and Paul call their mustaches "whiskers".

All in all, another good day over here.

Love, H

Hint Time

Auntie Sue's Tips for Modern Moms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#273 - If baby is thirsty but hasn't yet finished eating, don't worry

 about all that air he might swallow. Simply turn any chair into a recliner. After all, his happiness is your happiness.

Local Gang Attacks Youth

AP-January 15th, 2007

Cary-Local dog gang assaults a child at a local day care in Cary, NC. The minor told authorities he was minding his own business when he was attacked by members of a gang going by name the Big Orange Menaces. The child was doing what he does every day and depositing the uneaten portion of his meal on the floor for safe keeping. He does this as a regular practice so he can make sure he has food for later. He does not like to contribute to waste.

Tuesday, as he was depositing his leftovers, two member of the Big Orange Menaces came rushing in and eating his leftovers. When he confronted the smaller BOM, he was assaulted by a lick to the foot. After eating all the food, the two slunk back to their hideout on the back porch where they were later arrested by police chief, Karen E. Bell.

The Big Orange Menaces was first organized in 1996 when founders, Murphy P. Bell and Casey Sanchez, nee Casey Benjamin Bell, met at a local park in Columbus, OH. They decided to combine efforts in food hunting to maximize outcome. In 2005 they began admitting non-orange members because membership was dipping too low.

A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mama,

Thanks for making me lunch. Leah tried to trade me for a hard boiled egg but I know to hold out for a cupcake or fruit rollup.  Things are ok here. At least they have my favorite kind of blocks.

Love,

H.