LEAH PEAH DIARRHEA
Leah would spend all day watching H were it not for that crappy part of babyhood that requires her to sleep half the day. She loves him so much that she goes over to his house most of the rest of the days of the week to get a little more H. Leah and H are best friends. Leah loves H as much as 8 H heads.
THE PICTURE LADY, AKA LADY BELL AND MR. PICTURE LADY
This is the photography and cafeteria staff. They are responsible for all the photography on T-Days and for providing daily meals to the entire staff. The picture lady is know for her somewhat neglegtful borderline abusive care of H. Mr. Picture Lady is known for that one time when he put H in a basket. Combined, they love H as much as 7.5 H heads.
MURPHY P BELL, ESQ.
Muprhy is known for her bad attitude. She is responsible for janitorial and legal council. She would like you to know that T-Days is a registered trademark and also that she is currently mad because she is on the porch and she wishes to be inside. She is always harping on about how she can't do her job effectively from out there and how nobody likes her and she has a bad rap from being a lawyer but she helps refugee seal babies and that time she sold you out for Ali was all a big misunderstanding blah, blah, blah. She has officially filed some paperwork appealing the fact that I am saying she only loves H by about 2 H heads and she is selfish.
JACK JACK EMILIANOFF
Jack Jack is also on the janatorial staff. He is often put in his kennel for not doing his job correctly. He has one stupid job. Eat the stupid rice crispies that H throws on the floor. He proceeds to eat everything in site and regularly tries to lick H in the face. His enthusiasm is worth 10 heads by itself. He likes H about 5 H heads but it might seem like more because of his enthusiasm.
PAUL GROENIGER, III AKA KITTY
Kitty likes to play tag with H. She sits 3 feet away from him, he scoots over, she moves 3 more feet away, he scoots over, she moves 3 feet away, and so on for and H head eternity. She is learning to accept that she cannot bite H. She used to dislike him by about a half an H head but now she loves him a full 6 H heads.
THOSE &%$#@ PENGUINS
Those infuriating penguins love H more than life itself. Yes, that is bigger than an H head. H however, does not care for them. They infiltrate everything he does, naps, toy buckets and for the last time, the do NOT belong on the Incrediblock.
Next time... Volume II-Faunties and Funcles
5 comments:
The Penguins are crazy! I love it. I am so glad there is a non-T-Day posting.
it is a benefit to you and your entire outfit over there at t-days that you promise another addition of "who loves baby" for fanties and funcles. if you hadn't, i was going to have to register a formal complaint with one murphy p. bell about being left out. as one of the workers who got in on the ground floor of the unabridged version,i feel that i deserve a top spot in the literary work. i feel a bit slighted as i am WAY more important than those *%@# penguins. i am at least 15 h heads annoyed and 5 3/4 towels disappointed in your priorities. see that it never happens again.
Whatever, Murphy and I are in love. IN LOVE!!
Derek got that book, too. His mommy loves him only 1 H head as she never bothered to put more than about 4 pictures in it. For all Derek knows hardly anyone loves him. Fortunately, he has been the center of the world for exactly 4 years 1 month and 25 days so little harm was done.
I'll have you know that his parents didn't even make the abridged version.
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